Interview with Schlumph (Bonsai Kitten/Burgeoning Sphincter) 9-10 March 2004 on The Vanishing Point radio program.

The Vanishing Point - 3D Radio 93.7 FM, 11pm Tuesday to 1am Wednesday, Adelaide, Australia


Alan Bindig (DJ)

Song:  Dissecting Table - The Needs Of The Holy

Alan Bindig:  Good evening and welcome to The Vanishing Point on 3D Radio 93.7FM, we're here with Schlumph from Bonsai Kitten and Burgeoning Sphincter.

Schlumph:  [very loudly]  Hello!

AB:  Hello, Schlumph!

S:  How are you?

AB:  I'm good, how are you?

S:  I'm okay.

AB:  Cool.  Schlumph is our guest programmer tonight, and she is going to be picking the tracks tonight and talking to us.  So, we should mention first that you're here ostensibly to promote the new Bonsai Kitten CD.

S:  That's right, Nazi Girl Scouts!  That's a fun one, most of the samples are taken from [transcriber's note: sample sources removed], with lots of weird stuff, like "Gangrene Pus" and.. there might be something about syphillus on it as well, something pretty funny!  Yeah... that was fun, and I do like the Nazi Girl Scouts theme, that's pretty cool, and there's even some stuff from Raw Sex on it, so we have to play lots and lots of it!

AB:  Well, we're going to play right now the "Nazi Girl Scouts Recruitment Advertisement".

S:  Cool!

AB:  Here it is.

Song:  Bonsai Kitten - Nazi Girl Scouts Recruitment Advertisement
Song:  The Haters - Mind The Gap #8

AB:  You're listening to The Vanishing Point on 3D Radio 93.7FM, we're here with Schlumph from Bonsai Kitten and Burgeoning Sphincter.  She's programming the tracks.  Just then was The Haters, from the Mind The Gap album.  Tell us about The Haters.

S:  I don't actually know much about them.  I know they're from America, and they've got this really interesting thing on this CD, which says "all sounds on this CD were produced from stapling records together".  Which is interesting - I didn't know you could actually do that!

AB:  Well, there you go - the things people did before they had computers!  I don't know how they would have done that either... maybe they had those flat records that they have...

S:  Well all records are flat...

AB:  Yeah, but they used to have ones... I remember getting Guitar Player magazine orsomething like that, and every week they'd... and this was in the late '80s... they'd have a vinyl record that was as thick as a page of paper, and you could rip itout and stick it on your turntable.

S:  Oh, yeah!  In Russia in the '60s, they had to use x-ray paper to smuggle in all the records, you could do it like that!  Yeah!

AB:  Yeah, so there you go!  Next, Gerogerigegege... is that how you say it?

S:  Close!  Gerogerigegege...[pronounced "gee-row-ge-ree-ge-ge-ge"] something like that.  I suck at it as well!  [laughs]

AB:  Tell us about this one.

S:  Well, they're a Japanese band I think, and I like this song, because basically the dude gets up on stage and he masturbates, while you've got all this noise coming and going.  I think it'd be pretty funny to see - it'd be better than watching Rock Bitch.

AB:  Yeah!  [laughter all round]  Not a fan of Rock Bitch, then?

S:  No, they're gross - they're all scrubbers!  [more laughter all round]

AB:  Okay, we'll here's.... no, I'm not going to say it....

S:  Go on, do it, do it, do it!

AB:  Gero...uh....uhuhuh....

S:  [laughs]  Yay!

AB:  Anyway, here it is.

Song:  Gerogerigegege - Violence Onanie
Song:  Raw Sex - Mystery Vomit

AB:  You're listening to The Vanishing Point on 3D Radio 93.7FM, here with Schlumph....

S:  Hello!  I'm still here!

AB:  Hey!  I don't need to ask you why you played that song....

S:  Oh well... Raw Sex is one of my heroes.  And it was very nice of him to write a song about my house, and the mysterious vomit.  Not that I actually remember there being a vomit there!

AB:  So the mystery of the mysterious vomit... will probably never be solved?

S:  That's right, it's a mystery unto itself!

AB:  We should stress that that's from a CD called "Water Closet Apocalypse" or "Water Closet Armageddon", I'm not sure which one, and it hasn't been released yet, apparently....

S:  No - I got the special copy!

AB:  You got the pre-release copy there?

S:  Yeah, without the artwork!

AB:  Do you know what the artwork will be?  He always has interesting artwork, Raw Sex.

S:  I have no idea!  I didn't ask E.C.

AB:  Who knows?  Maybe this is what the delay is, you see.. it's always artwork that holds these things up... Next up is your other project, Burgeoning Sphincter.

S:  Yay!

AB:  Tell us about Burgeoning Sphincter.

S:  Burgeoning Sphincter only really started a few months ago, late last year, probably November.  I got sick of using my computer for just writing and thought "there's got to be something else I can do with it", so I just started playing around on this really clapped-out Packard-Bell.  The program was Audiostation, it's really bad!  So yeah, I just started writing songs on that!

AB:  Cool!  Well, here's a song you've written, which is on the Chastity Records 10th Anniversary Compilation, which has just come out, and this is called "Lactose Intolerant".

Song:  Burgeoning Sphincter - Lactose Intolerant
Song:  Stratvm Terror - Anal Inhalation

AB:  You're listening to The Vanishing Point on 3D Radio 93.7FM.  That was Stratvm Terror, that track was called "Anal Inhalation", that's from a CD of theirs called Pain Implantations.  We're here with Schlumph who's programming the show, and she picked that.  Why'd you pick that track?

S:  Um... cos I liked it... which is a really lame answer, I know, but....

AB:  That's okay.

S:  It's just a nice CD.  Lots of dark, ambient, nasty sort of things in it.

AB:  Cool.  Next up, you've picked Coil.

S:  Hmmm.... I've always liked Coil.  It's sort of out-of-date these days, it's sort of nice and dancey, lots of little bunny rabbits jumping around, but I still like it.  And actually the track... [slight thud noise] ... I keep on bashing myself... [laughs]  the track I've picked, it's got this girl just singing this weird stuff like "did I leave the kettle on?" which is really mundane, but it just gets stuck in my head, I keep on singing it in the shower!

AB:  Well here's Coil, and a piece called.... it's hard to read this CD....

S:  Do you want me to do it?

AB:  Nah, I can just do it, I've just got to shine it in the light just right... it's called "Things Happen" and this album's called Love's Secret Domain.

Song:  Coil - Things Happen
Song:  Aube - Bound Sensitivity

AB:  You're listening to The Vanishing Point on 3D Radio 93.7FM, and we're here with Schlumph from Bonsai Kitten and Burgeoning Sphincter, she is our guest programmer tonight.

S:  Yes I am!

AB:  That was Aube.

S:  I think it's said "Aube" [owb].

AB:  That piece was called "Bound Sensitivity" and it's from an album called Wired Trap.  What do you know about Aube?  Because I don't know anything...

S:  I know they're Japanese.  I don't know much about them, but I just like their CDs, in this one it says "using only the sounds of steel wire" and I've got this other one, it's called Cardiac Strain, and all the songs are based around the human heartbeat.  It's really interesting, especially when it gets really cranked up, you just feel like going into a frenzy!

AB:  Next up we're going to play some live Bonsai Kitten and Burgeoning Sphincter stuff.

S:  Oooooh!  [laughs]

AB:  Tell us about the live CD that we're about to play, because I haven't played this on the show before.

S:  Alright, well I guess you know it's out on E.C. and Chastity, and it's from the gig we did on the 9th of February, which was heaps of fun.  It was really cool, they had a really good P.A. set up and the mixer was really enthusiastic - the dude shows up, and he looks like a nice little boy who listens to dance music, but he's really enthusiastic and when we're doing the soundcheck he goes "yeah, you guys are great!" - so that was like a really good start!  Then.... there was Isomer playing first, and then we went on, and it sounded really cool!  And the speakers, they kept on making this horrible noise, like they were about to blow up at any second!  Which is pretty funny.  And I was really impressed that there were heaps of girls there.  Because a lot of people say that girls aren't interested in experimental music, but I think they are!

AB:  There's a lot more girls at experimental gigs than there are at hard rock gigs, or something like that.  Like if you look at the AC/DC crowd....

S:  I don't know, I used to work at Cartoons, there were a lot of scrubbers there!

AB:  [laughs]  Well, anyway here is Bonsai Kitten from this live CD called The Way Of The Transgressors.  There's two tracks we're going to play from this, the first one's called "Penetrator", and the second one's called "Clench".

Song:  Bonsai Kitten - Penetrator
Song:  Bonsai Kitten - Clench
Song:  F. M. Einheit - Hymne (Witch Burn)

AB:  You're listening to The Vanishing Point on 3D Radio 93.7FM.  We're here with Schlumph from Bonsai Kitten and Burgeoning Sphincter, she is programming the show tonight.  That was F. M. Einhert....

S:  Einheit!

AB:  Einheit!

S:  You're German, you should know this!

AB:  Yeah I know, I just can't pronounce anything... funny how I'm a DJ, isn't it?

S:  [lots of laughter]

AB:  Anyway, tell us about him!

S:  Well, I guess most people know he's from Einsturzende Neubauten.  I don't if he's done anything else besides his own project, which is F. M. Einheit.  He's done a couple of things under F. M. Einheit, not as good at that record, Stein... and I like that it's got Diamanda Galas in that song, I think she's got a great voice, even though most of it's just warbling and crazy stuff.

AB:  Next up we're playing Colostomy Bag Lady.

S:  Awww.... I love Colostomy Bag Lady!  She's such a lovely old thing!  Yeah, play "Ugly Baby", that's one of my favourite songs.  I listened to it for days when he gave it to me - it's cool.

AB:  Here it is.

Song:  Colostomy Bag Lady - Ugly Baby
Song:  Schloss Tegal - Hunting For Humans

AB:  You're listening to The Vanishing Point on 3D Radio 93.7FM.  We're here with Schlumph from Bonsai Kitten and Burgeoning Sphincter, she is programming the tracks tonight.  That was Schloss Tegal...

S:  Yes it was!

AB:  A track called "Hunting For Humans".

S:  Aw, I do like that!  I'd love to go hunting for humans!  A nice big safari park, with them all running around in the wild!  [laughter all round]  I can't work out whether I want a gun or a knife, though....

AB:  A gun would be easier...

S:  Yeah, it would.

AB:  Next up we've got Smell & Quim.

S.  Mmm!  That's from a compilation thingamajiggy.

AB:  The compilation's called Music Should Hurt.

S:  It's got a very cool starting sample.  Sounds like dodgy porn!

AB:  Okay, well here it is!

Song:  Smell & Quim - Pervertual Reality
Song:  Nurse With Wound - Livin' Fear Of James Last

AB:  You're listening to The Vanishing Point on 3D Radio 93.7FM.  We're here with Schlumph from Bonsai Kitten and Burgeoning Sphincter, she is programming the show tonight.  That was Nurse With Wound.

S:  Yes, it was!

AB:  Tell us about Nurse With Wound, and why you picked that track.

S:  I picked that track.... basically, all the tracks on this are really good, they all merge into one.  They've got that weird creepy Italian guy speaking through it, and this little Egg Lady voice going all through it, so basically, when you play the CD it doesn't sound like there's lots of different songs, it just sounds like one song.  I like Nurse With Wound's stuff, it's sort of like the nicer side of experimental music.  More melodic!  And it's cool.  It's annoying though, because they very rarely write who's in it, they just give you these shitty little pictures!  So all I know is that there's Steve Stapleton and David Tibet in this.  [transcriber's note: the album is called Who Can I Turn To Stereo]

AB:  Next up we've got a band called Tit Wrench.

S:  Mmm!   You're going to ask me about them, aren't you?  [laughs]

AB:  I'm going to ask you about Tit Wrench, and you're probably going to answer "well, I don't know anything, but..."

S:  No, I don't.  I know they're American.  I hope they're American!  Otherwise I just stuffed up!

AB:  Well, this song doesn't seem to have a title.

S:  Oh, that's right - because they're sneaky.  They're one of those annoying bands who only list five songs, but they've got 99!  So you get through ten songs and they're all like normal lengths, but then you get into the other ones and they're just like little fragments, it drives you mad!

AB:  Okay, well here's a four minute fragment from Tit Wrench.

Song:  Tit Wrench - untitled
Song:  Bonsai Kitten - Gangrene Pus
Song:  Hirose-Otomo Duo - Po-ol

AB:  You have been listening to The Vanishing Point on 3D-Radio 93.7FM.  You have been listeining to Schlumph from Bonsai Kitten and Burgeoning Sphincter, she has been programming the show tonight!

S:  Yes I have!  I hope you haven't been too bored!  [laughter all round]

AB:  Well I certainly haven't been, I don't know about anyone else... Tell us about what we just heard there.

S:  I don't know what they're called, they're from a Triple-R compilation... just... tell me what they're called... [DJ passes CD case over]  Oh no!  I can't say this!  Hirose-Otomo Duo...  I just like it because they've got that sort of Balinese sample through it, you told me what those instruments were....

AB:  Gamelan.  Gamelan orchestra.

S:  Yeah, I like it.  I tried to do something on my computer like that, but it turned out to be absolute poo.  So I thought that was really nice, that track!

AB:  Before that was more Bonsai Kitten, from the new album.

S:  Mmm!  A very good album too, you should rush out and buy it from.... Big Star?

AB:  Big Star, yeah.  Nazi Girl Scouts.  You're leaving us with more from the group called Dissecting Table.

S:  Yeah, I like them.  It's the only sort of dance music I can handle!  [laughs]

AB:  Alright well, thank you for coming in, and sharing your music with us tonight.

S:  You're welcome!

AB:  And... I should tell the listeners that next week Richard Leviathan from Ostara, and Strength Through Joy, and Kapo! - he will be the guest programmer next week!  Until then, goodnight!

S:  Bye!

Song:  Dissecting Table - Confuse

End of interview.

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